Saturday, December 29, 2012


  How many times somebody told you words "I will never leave you"? Few months ago one person told me that and few days ago left me. It's hard to not thinking about him, it's really hard...  But this is the live... Full of disappointments, broken hearts, mistakes... Everyone learns from their mistakes who to trust, who not, what to do and what not... This is the life. It's not easy. 
  Sometimes I wish I could tie somebody up in my shoes, make somebody feel like me... People around me are sooo happy, the have what they want, they go where they want, have boys/girls who they want.
  But it's New Year soon, a new beginning, we can start new life if you only want. I made a new list of the provisions, even though I have not completed the last one. I hope next year will be better for me :)
Do you have any advices for me?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Christmas time is coming...

  Have you ever dreamed about Christmas without your family and friends? I have, this year. I wanted to go somewhere I don't know, where is no people around, just like in "holiday" movie. I think everybody needs sometimes to be alone for a while. Don't know why at Christmas, but I wish I could go somewhere away from here. If i could't make it happen this year maybe next I'll try. New Year's Eve I'm spending at home with some good movie and bottle of wine. But before I'll feel the spirit of Christmas i have to stay at University until 21st December. Before I'll get home waiting for my five-hour train journey, probably with no seats. It's going to be amazing...
  Week ago came to Poland my best friend. Last time I saw him on May. He lives in UK for a year now. I missed him so much. He's leaving on Tuesday. I'm so sad about it but he has to go. We spent every single day together, shopping, talking, cooking and partying. We had so much to tell about our lifes. He invited me to come to his place on winter holidays, and on February I'm going to UK. It was so much fun to spend the time together. 
  Now I am thinking of Christmas with my family in my hometown away from University and study. I need this break. And when New Year comes I think I'll be a better person.

P.S Maybe I should start to add some photos of me and my friends?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Finally back!

Hey Guys! I'm so sorry for not writing such a long time. I have my computer back! its so good feeling, but its only good thing what happened to me last times. 
It's so hard be happy when people who you dont know tell you that you don't suppost to be living because of your look. This is so unfair, why people say that? I didn't do anything wrong. And all I heard is that I'm such a bed person, why? Life it's to hard for me. I try to be me, not pretending anybody, do not argue with anybody and all I get is so many bad words! Sometimes I think it would be better not to be born. I'm not this happy and cheesing girl. Now I'm all the time sad and crying and I don't want to be any more. I want to be this happy girl again! Please tell me that somewhere in the world there are people who want to have me....

Friday, October 26, 2012

Broken computer

Since last week, I don't have a computer... Tha's why I wasn't writing nothing new. So I have to write everuthing now :) My roommate let me to use her computer if I want so I have connection with the world :) Last night I was with my friends in a music club and we party all night long :) It was amazing! So many new people, good music and friends - that's what makes me happy :) On Monday my friend is making a Halloween party and I have to dress up, but I don't know what I can wear... I'm thinking about it all the time. So my soscial life is quite good :)
Now university ;) so, what can I tell? Too much study. All these physics and maths stuff make me so tired, that ater my lessons all I want to my bad :)
I didn't have time for "sending" my message in the bottle, but I will do it the sooner I can :) Also I hope to get some photos from Halloween :) Question for you ... Who you want to be on Halloween party? :)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Message in the bottle....

       I've always dreamed of writing a letter, put it into a bottle and throw it to the sea. In our times people don't write a leters, now every body use phones or emails or messangers any way some quicker way to conntact with others. I've always wanted to write one, I don't know who can be that I'm writing to but I think I'll do it :) Unfortunately, I live far from the sea. To be honest I was never at the seaside. That's why I decided to thow my letter in to the river :) I have so many question... "Does someone find my letter?", "What I'm going to write in this?", "Is there some message that I want to share with some stranger, who will find it?".... So many unknowns.... But I've been waiting for all to long. I decided to do what I want and live my life! :) And since this year I'm going to do all that things I've always wanted! :) (Hope I'm gonna make it) I know, there are so many people who always wanted to do something, but they didn't have enough courage, I was one of them. Now, I think, I'm stronger to do some of them. I'm not the same Anna I was, I've never liked myself like my friends do. But I think it's time for change something, I can't always be in the same point. Live is moving on, so do we. 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Without internet....

Last two weeks were terrible for me. I didn't have internet. I couldn't write a new post, but I'll try to write all things what happend :)
New place, new roommates. I was so scared when I came to my new flat but everithing seems to be ok. I met so many new people on my University. I din't expect that we make friends the first day but they are so quiet and polite ;p They don't want to party at all ;p However my roommates do! :) So in ur flat there is a lot of fun ;) Party all night long :) Amazing!
What's more.....? This weekend isn't good for me, because I'm sick :( I got a flu. I hope I'll be better soon :) I'm waiting for my friends to visit me in my new place, but I think they will come next weekend and than again PARTY! :) But I have to start to learn. Yesterday I had my first test. I hope I'll pass it! (cross your fingers :) )
I promise to write about all new things! Hope you like reading my blog! :)

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Lonley Saturday...

I hate beeing alone at the weekend's evening, it's so depressing. Especially Saturday like this, rainy and cold. I think, that nobody likes to be alone at this time. But there's two ways of spending it. You can lying around on the bed, watch some romantic movie, eat ice cream and cry how hopeless you are OR turn on the music that you like, sing out loud, pretend that you're a star :) I decided to iron the clothes, sing, dance, and pack up the suitcase. Today I feel good, maybe because of song I heard, I want summer back! But today it's also first day of Autumn. I don't like this season. It's very depressing time. But this evening I don't think about at all :) I have to tell you that this summer I bought so many clothes :) My friend told me to start use my blog as fashion blog, but I'm afraid that my clothes, my style and me won't like you. She thinks that I have what I need. Maybe someday I will add pictures of me :) I think it's time. People who read my blog would like to know how looks the person who writes it all :)
Question for you:
How you spend "lonley Saturdays"?

And for end the song what makes my day better! :)

Enjoy your Weekend! :)

Friday, September 14, 2012

Need a help....


Day by day it's getting worse. I can't stand the atmosphere at my home. Everybody just tell me that I'm nothing and should go to work and move out. I feel like nobody want me to exist. I think my only chance is go back to University but without money, I can't study anymore. I am a burden to everyone. No job, no prospects and family support nothing can succeed. In next 2 weeks I'm going back to my University. I don't know how I can make it. Just I don't know. I have no life, the strength I had one day. I'm just alife because I'm here, not that I want to. If I could I would change my life, but i have noone to help me. Looking for somebody who can give me something what can bring something new to me. 
Now I now what my blog is like. It's my diary but not personal, I want to share my life with others. I want to tell you that somewhere in the world is a girl with problems like this. Probably I'm not the one, but who can say "hey, my family tells me I'm nothing and they don't want me anymore" ? Tell me, who can say it? I'm ashamed of it that I have such a family, but you can't choose family which you want to live with... 

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Friday, August 31, 2012

Is there anybody...???

It's been almost three months like I made my own blog and I wonder if somedoby is reading me... Since that time, one comment and six followers on twitter. I just wonder if somedoby like my blog, and with all this thinkg I write see a part of youself. I don't know if I have somebody to write for... If somebody here please say something! Just give me the sign somebody that you are here! This is very important to me, and it means that I have people who want to read me! Waiting for you guys, Anna...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Last week I wast thinking too much... This week is so different! I got a huge kick! And it worked! You know? F**ck all the people who want's to tell you that you sucks, people who says that you can do everything you want and finally people who can help you and when you ask them only words thay can say is "keep doing what you want! " You know what? Keep telling this to someone else! I'm stronger I think. Of course there are moments of doubt, but I can make it, I hope so. Probably you guys know people with a dreams, but for some reason do not come true. Let's help all people! Let's bring them a faith that every thing can happen! Nobody can tell that people do what they want, NOBODY! I don't know how people who managed to get the help of somebody's not willing to help, I just don't know. If you got a hepl from somebody and you have an opportunity to help others do it! I don't have money and I don't know people who know somebody and they know somebody, but there are so many people who know somebody. 
If you are reading my blog, send it to others! Let's make our dreams come true! We won't be just sitting and talking, Let's do something! Let's shpw the world that you don't have to be rich or know many people to be somebody! We can show that without showing naked body, family's problems on TV and pretending "ordinary life" just for people we can do something!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Can't stand it anymore...

Problems? Who doesn't have them? But in my situation I think that what I have is out of limit. I can't stand it any more. It's too much for me. I don't know what to do. Nobody next to me to help, I'm alone with everything right now. Yesterday I was at my new flat and everuthing will be ok but of course my family says no. I don't care because I pay for it with my money and I like it. My family don't give support I need in my life, everuthing I have to do it on my own, this is too much for me, I don't know life yet. There is one thing that I hear everyday, that I'm hopeless, so it must be true. I want to have somebody in my family to talk with, but even my mum tells me that I can't do anything. This is not helping at all. I'm tired of my life, sometimes I wish I could live somewhere else, to not hear all this people telling me how bad I am. This is killing me. I think I need a rest from my life and family, but who can give me? I want to change something in my hopeless life, but I need a chance, which nobody wants to give me. I don't feel anything, even that I'm alive. I don't care about anything. Please somebody change that!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Miles to go, Before I Sleep....

There is so many places go go, but everything is against me, even the weather. Everytime I deciced to go somewhere it ends at home. I somebody won't "kick my ass" I won't do anything. I'm like that, I planned a lot, but I can't end what I started. Holidays are slowly ending and only place I was it was my friend's home. That's all. I want to go somewhere! Do something! I don't want to be bored anymore. But there's nobody next to me. Everyone has own plan. Everyone knows how to spend free time - I don't. I'm sitting alone at my home, when the rain is outside the window, and think "What to do now? still sit here or do something?". Pobably I'll pick the second and I'll stay. The truth is that I don't have a lot opportunities to go somwhere and see something. This year was my first trip abroad, I was in England, but that's all... I'm hopeless, I know... I hope your holidays are more exciting :) I know I promised one girl I'll every day say to myself "You are amazing! You can do everything you want", but for now, it's to much for me...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Amazing week!

Last week I was at my friend's home about 250 km away from my. It was so much fun! We were swimming, walking, visiting and having fun. I was there for 6 days, I wish I could stay more :) I was great time. We cooked together and made drinks (acctually more drinks than food lmao ;) ) We were at swimming pool in nearby village. I want to go back there. :) I home my friend will invite me one more time, but now I'm waiting for her in my home ;) I hope that wasnt my only trip this holiday :)

Monday, July 30, 2012

Bad day ....

Sometimes people have bad days. This is one of mine. I hate that. I feel terrible, like I'm not important to anybody. And I wonder why everybody keep telling me what to do... I don't know, nobody is helping me, I'm alone with everything... But they say "do what you want to do in your life...." This is the worst what they could say. I don't know what I want... I mean  I want to do something in my life, make my dreams come true... But when everybody tells you that you're nothing you can't stand it any more and give up... If you don't have the look, family who supports you, friends  you have nothing... I'm alone with everything I want to do with my life... I don't have opportunity to do what I want, don't have the look what is expected... But when somebody pretty/good-looking, with amazing voice and everything  is telling that anything can happen, it's not right... how can somebody like me make something big, how? tell me, I don't know...

Friday, July 27, 2012


Yesterday was my 20th birthday. I got many wishes! ? Thank you all! :) I was on small birthday party at my friend's home.. We were drinking absinth and eating chocolate with "something" :D
 But today I was on my University to  apply one more time for my direction. The journey was long and now I'm exhausted. I dream about my bed.
 Next week I'm going to my friend. Hope the weather will be nice and we have an amazing time together ;)
Now I'm going to sleep ;) Enjoy your evening! ;) Anna...

P.S You can find me and follow on @chance_give


Monday, July 23, 2012

Rainy week...

It's been a rainy week.. No place to go... Just sitting at home and watching movies. But I wasn't bored, because my friend came. We were listening to music, cooking and baking. When the weather was better we went to the city center for a shopping ;) Of course I bought a lot of nice clothes. But one sunny day and than two rainy. It wasn't a nice week. There is nothing much to write about... Maybe next week will be more exciting :) Anna...

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The weekend....

Weekend should be spent with family and friends. Meanwhile I was sitting in the room and watched movies (with a break for a Saturday shopping). But also cleaned the room because I'm waiting for the arrival of friends from college. I hope than I start to use my holidays ;) We want to go to Lviv, it's so close to my hometown but I've nerever been there. I want to go to the moutains and the lake. Hope to take some pictures from my trips ;) 
Today I got an invitation for my cousin's wedding. Should be fun, if I'll find somebody to go with.
But next week, this will be fun! I have to paint my room (it going to be red&white with a painting on the wall). Have to buy the paint, pull myfelf together and do the work :)
I still wondering if that was a good idea making the blog... Writing about your plans, life and friends to somebody.. I don't even know if there's somebody... Waiting for somebody, Anna.  

P.S I add a photo of my dream room ;) It's going to be difficult, because I share my room with my sister, but I think I'm gonna make it!

Friday, July 13, 2012

My first time...

Hey... When I was making my blog I was thinking... "if somebody will read it?", "if I feel more comfortable with myself writing all this stuff?", "if somebody will answer to my post?"... These questions are still in my head. I made it for me, to be more confident, to tell what are my dreams, to share my (not easy) life with other. You think... "why she does not talk with her friends?" or "I have my own problems, I don't care about others". Maybe.... but maybe somebody has the same... maybe somebody there isn't brave enough to write about it... maybe... That's why I'm writing here to You!
I should write something about me...
I'm Anna, I'm a student, live in a small village, near small town and study in big city. Few months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I think that was the moment I thought that I want to do I always wanted. I decided to change my University but my family is not supported as I ecpected. And prpbably I'll stay here. I want to travel, visit the world, make some new friend... just enjoying the life... 
Maybe enough for the first time...?
Hope to read some comments from You.. Waiting Anna