Can't stand it anymore...

Problems? Who doesn't have them? But in my situation I think that what I have is out of limit. I can't stand it any more. It's too much for me. I don't know what to do. Nobody next to me to help, I'm alone with everything right now. Yesterday I was at my new flat and everuthing will be ok but of course my family says no. I don't care because I pay for it with my money and I like it. My family don't give support I need in my life, everuthing I have to do it on my own, this is too much for me, I don't know life yet. There is one thing that I hear everyday, that I'm hopeless, so it must be true. I want to have somebody in my family to talk with, but even my mum tells me that I can't do anything. This is not helping at all. I'm tired of my life, sometimes I wish I could live somewhere else, to not hear all this people telling me how bad I am. This is killing me. I think I need a rest from my life and family, but who can give me? I want to change something in my hopeless life, but I need a chance, which nobody wants to give me. I don't feel anything, even that I'm alive. I don't care about anything. Please somebody change that!

Miles to go, Before I Sleep....

There is so many places go go, but everything is against me, even the weather. Everytime I deciced to go somewhere it ends at home. I somebody won't "kick my ass" I won't do anything. I'm like that, I planned a lot, but I can't end what I started. Holidays are slowly ending and only place I was it was my friend's home. That's all. I want to go somewhere! Do something! I don't want to be bored anymore. But there's nobody next to me. Everyone has own plan. Everyone knows how to spend free time - I don't. I'm sitting alone at my home, when the rain is outside the window, and think "What to do now? still sit here or do something?". Pobably I'll pick the second and I'll stay. The truth is that I don't have a lot opportunities to go somwhere and see something. This year was my first trip abroad, I was in England, but that's all... I'm hopeless, I know... I hope your holidays are more exciting :) I know I promised one girl I'll every day say to myself "You are amazing! You can do everything you want", but for now, it's to much for me...