Monday, February 4, 2013

Who can live like that??

   Have you eve heard that you are the biggest mistake that somebody could make? Have you ever heard that because of you somebody had the worst life ever? Have you ever heard that you should not to live or you should never be born? I have. Not a first time. I cant stand it anymore... It's not my fault that I'm here. It's not my fault that I was born. So how people say these things to me? Is it normal to hear it from your parent? Is it really normal? What can I do? I can't imagine to say something like this to my future children... I can sit in bathroom and cry... It's really killing me. It's such a shame for me to live with family like that. I dont have any support. I have to do everything on my own.
  I don't have job, I dont have enough money. I can't even afford for a doctor to check if I am healthy. Every day I can watch some celebs buy a house for billion of dollars. I can see my friends photos on facebook, where they were, what they saw. I want to go to work but I can't find anything. I could go abroad to earn some money but I can't buy a ticket because I don't have money. It really sucks. And I really need so many things to continue studies.
  How somebody say to you "don't let go your dreams"? or "never say never"? I think only about how to survive from month to month. I want to make my dreams come true but how? I love to sing, I love to play, but... When I was on audition to acting school they said to me that our country dont need actors with my look. They will hate me because of that. And can you imagine? One day and everything's over. How can these people decide who people like and not? It should be all about talent and passion. How can somebody treat you like that? 
  I have this blog I can write what I feel, but that's all. I was hoping that maybe somehow someone will hear my voice, that there is a person who need support or help from others. 
  It's not easy to write about it, but maybe somewhere there is a person like me and can't speak about her/his life.

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